We attended my fifth grade daughter's "graduation" from the D.A.R.E. program (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) recently, and it was a very interesting event... filled with songs, essays, speeches from city leaders, the pride of kids and applause from parents.
Near the end of the ceremony, a city leader spoke to the kids on the value of "leading" not "following." At the conclusion of his presentation, he asked the kids, "How many of you are going to be leaders?" and about half the hands in the juvenile crowd went up. And it immediately struck me: this city leader asked these kids to aspire to lead-to be an individual-and then they conformed with others in the group and followed his request to raise their hands.
Maybe I'm nitpicking a bit, but it brought me back to a movie I saw a 20 years ago that highlighted this issue: Dead Poet Society. In it, Robin Williams plays a teacher named John Keating at an all-boys school, where he teaches/shows his class the value of thinking outside the box - to be an individual. An exchange between him and his students that springs to mind is this:
In an effort to instill a sense of leadership and individuality - far away from the conservative norm of the school - John Keating brings his class to a courtyard and lines them up. He then encourages them to walk around the courtyard...in any way they choose-funny, stupid, sad, whatever. All of the students start walking around the courtyard in various ways...all of them except for one. Keating asks the student why he isn't walking, and thereby showing his individuality. The student replies that he is exercising his right not to walk.
And in that one move, that student shows his leadership...his individuality...and it makes me wonder how many kids are we cubbyholing into becoming "Effective Citizens of the World" (which is what a local Bay Area elementary school claims the "build" in their school charter) instead of thinking individuals that branch out into areas of life still uncharted-becoming independent and better equipped than their parents are/were.
With leadership comes individuality...and in my opinion that city official got it wrong by asking an important question on the wrong way. I just wish more people would guide their kids into a place where they questioned the status quo of the world we live in, instead of only bucking authority in their teens and twenties.
Charles Orlando is a life coach and the author of "The Problem with Women...is Men: The Evolution of a Man's Man to a Man of Higher Consciousness." When he's not cooking breakfast-in-bed for his darling wife, or playing Guitar Hero with his kids, he can be found blogging at theproblemwithwomenismen.com.